Tipping You Wedding Vendors

Most couples are pretty confused on which, if any, of their wedding vendors to tip. And the truth is that this tipping etiquette thing is pretty subjective. When I bring up the subject with my clients (I always bring it up, because nobody likes talking about money), here is some advice I offer:

- Tips are rarely expected but are always appreciated.

- Don't break your budget trying to tip your vendors. If you are early enough in the process, set aside a rough amount of money for tipping so it doesn't break the bank on the wedding day. Tipping should make you feel just as good as it makes your vendors feel.

- Tip the people you would tip in real life (servers, car or shuttle drivers, beauty services, etc) at roughly the same amount you would if this weren't a wedding. (Most wedding questions can be answered easily if you take the word wedding out of it. "Hey, should I tip my servers?)."

- Double check your contracts to see when gratuity is already included. Catering usually, but not always, includes gratuity on their bill (though clarify that it will also go to the serving staff).

- Tips don't have to be cash. Whoa, right?! Everyone loves cash, but I can tell you I've received some really great, from the heart gifts from clients over the years as a thank you. From all things coffee (I have a slight addiction) to books to a fantastic magnet that is still on my fridge 15 years later, these gifts are all memorable, personal, and meaningful, and usually make me laugh or smile.

One of the best things you can do is leave a five-star review for them on their site of choice. Or send a note - handwritten love is awesome!

The bottom-line IMO: show your appreciation in whatever way, shape or dollar amount feels right for you. However, you care to show your appreciation of a job well done, know that gratitude is a wonderful thing that fills our hearts with all the warm fuzzies. We are working to make your day special because we genuinely WANT it to be amazing, not because we are expecting a tip.

Sometimes, after all this is said, I still get asked, "yeah, but really. How much should I tip?" Based on my experiences, here is what I usually see when tips are involved in the DMV (will change in different areas):

Photographer/Videographer: Optional

The Standard: $50–$200 per vendor

DJ: $100 - Protocol: Optional, yet preferred

The Standard: $50–$150

Hair and Makeup: Expected

The Standard: 15–25 percent, depending upon the quality of service

Band: Optional

The Standard: $25–$35 per musician

Officiant: $100 donation (if they are with a parish) or personal tip.

Bakery: Optional

The Standard: $50 to $100

Florist: Optional

Around 10% of the pre-tax total; for any employees who remain on-site to setup, flip the space, or tear down décor, $50 to $100 is generally appropriate.

Bartenders: Expected

$150-$300 per person, especially if you have a bigger or heavy drinking crowd that keeps them hopping all night. Make sure to check your contract to see if a gratuity is built in.

Catering Staff: Expected

The Standard: 15–20 percent of the food and drink fee or $200–$300 for the maître d'. Make sure to check your contract to see if a gratuity is built in.

Wedding Transport: Optional

The Standard: 15–20 percent of the total bill

Planner: Optional

The Standard: Anywhere from $250 to $1,000 (10–20 percent) based on the scope of services, as well as $50 to $150 for each assistant. A small gift is also totally acceptable,

Note that if you do plan to leave tips of cash or check, please have them ready to go in advance (at the rehearsal or the morning of), sealed in an envelope and labeled for the appropriate vendor. Hand them to your planner, or your designated person, to pass out as they day winds down.

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